The Desolation of Yet Another Childhood Favorite

Went with Boyfriend to finally see the new Hobbit movie. I should preface this with some background information; Boyfriend was reared on The Hobbit from the age of approximately five years old. He loves it. Love is probably not a strong enough word, even. So when he heard they were not only making it into a movie, but into THREE movies. he was overjoyed. I, on the other hand, was less enthusiastic.

I read The Hobbit. I tried several times and finally managed to get through the whole thing when I was 13. (I then continued on to read all three of the Lord of the Rings novels in quick succession, after which I swore off reading Tolkien for the rest of my life.) It isn’t a long book. Not really. Being a Tolkien novel it’s obviously jam-packed full of details, and, compared to the LotR novels, it’s much more to-the-point. Making it into 2 movies, I could see fairly easily. Even making it into 3 shorter movies (it is a children’s book, after all) isn’t unreasonable; what’s the average children’s film, an hour and a half? Sure, that’s fine, totally do-able. But three almost-three-hour movies? There’s no way they could possibly get enough material to fill this time, I said to myself. No freakin’ way. 

How they were going to fill the time became apparent once I saw the first film: they were going to make shit up. Especially after conferring with Tolkien-pedia (aka Boyfriend) in the next seat, there were large stretches of that film that were completely made up.  Yes, they pulled in some bits from The Silmarillion, that’s okay I guess. I’ll allow it. But a 5-minute scene with Radagast on a sled pulled by bunnies? I’m pretty sure Tolkien would not approve.

But this second movie… Ugh. I’m just going to make a list. A list of my serious issues with this movie.

1. Casting
   Usually I’m pretty good at identifying actors when they pop up on screen. It’s something my best friend was always able to do really well and living with her for three years gave me plenty of time to practice. But it still took me until seeing names roll across the credit screen to be 100% sure that the lady elf in this movie wasn’t really just Liv Tyler with a really bad dyejob. I mean seriously. 
   
   
   
   
   
   Evangeline Lilly is a decent actress and smokin’ hot, but really, couldn’t they have chosen an actress who looked just a little less like Liv Tyler?
   
   And then at least, couldn’t they have covered up her roots?
   
   
   
   
   I mean seriously, this is just plain sad. 
   
   Especially because since it clearly isn’t all her hair, this was intentional. This took me out of the movie every single time she popped up on screen. I know it’s because I’m a little OCD, but… ::twitch::
   
   It should also be noted that Tauriel (henceforth to be referred to as Arwen 2.0) exists nowhere in Middle Earth ever.
   
2. EditingDuring my tenure in film school there was one point emphasized above all others: editing is KEY. Part of the beauty of the original Lord of the Rings movie cycle was that they managed to take three immensely long novels that are, in large part, filled with superfluous and irrelevant details about the world around the characters and pull out all of the nuggets that were really relevant to the story, thereby making it much easier for the average human being to consume. Even beyond the writers’ room this was the case thanks to skillful editing. Then, with the release of the director’s cut, the superfankids were able to see much of the cut material and we were all happy, while the rest of the world was also content with the shorter version.
   
   The opposite is the case with The Desolation of Smaug. Part of the problem with this movie was that it’s 2 hours and 40 minutes felt like 6 hours because everything just dragged ON. Did we really need 5 minutes of dwarves smashing spiders with tiny swords? No, we didn’t. 1 minute of this would have been sufficient. Did we need 15-20 minutes of Legolas & Arwen 2.0 hopping from hobbit to hobbit shooting orcs on the riverbank (a scene that was purely synthesized for the movie, I might add)? No, we absolutely did not. 3-4 minutes would’ve been fine. I’d even take 5, because the bit with the fat dwarf rolling in the barrel, while unnecessary, was pretty amusing. 
   
   Unlike the majority of my favorite books that Hollywood has seen fit to slaughter in recent years, The Hobbit films aren’t suffering from missing storylines or simply the fact that most 500-page stories don’t fit in well to a 2.5 hour timespace; rather, it’s the opposite that rings true. They are so desperate to fill the absurd amount of time they’ve decided this story warrants that they are…
   
3. MAKING. SHIT. UP.If Tolkien were alive, these movies would never have been permitted to be made. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Tolkiens weren’t planning another lawsuit. A good two thirds of this movie was completely synthesized by the writers and has nothing (if not less) to do with the book. There is no big scene by the riverbank. Legolas isn’t even IN the book Legolas’ ladylove Arwen 2.0 was never anywhere in any of the books. Most importantly, Thorin & the dwarves NEVER enter the mountain. That whole bit with the forge and gold at the end? Totally fake. Not to mention completely stupid. Thorin & Smaug don’t ever talk and while Smaug does burst out of the mountain and head for Laketown, he does it to follow Bilbo, not to spite our pint-sized heroes. 
   
   Considering the world in which these movies are set is probably one of the most richly described fantasy lands ever, the fact that they felt the needed to make anything up at all is nothing short of insulting. The rational person is then lead to ask, “Sweet Jesus, why would anyone DO such a thing?”
   
4. The Producing Team in Hollywood is Just a Bunch of Money-Grubbing AssholesSeriously. This is the root of all their problems. This is the case with just about all major motion pictures that have come out in the past 15 or so years. I mean, for goodness’ sake, in Episode 1 the whole podracing bit was obviously meant to be turned straight into a video game (which it was, a game which I purchased for $5 at Walmart shortly after its release, played for 2 hours, and never touched again) and pretty much all of the Gungan fighting storyline was clearly meant to be turned straight into toys.
   
   
   
   
   This is something that modern culture has come to accept, and by and large I include myself in this statement. I liked Star Wars: Episode 1 and as a non-fangirl I don’t mind Jar Jar Binks or the podracing storyline. But what they’ve done to The Hobbit has just hit too close to home. I remember hearing originally they were planning on making 2 movies, and that would’ve been totally fine. There is more than enough richness to this story that 5-5.5 hours of combined screen time seems perfectly acceptable to me.
   
   The third movie is where they lost me completely. It is such an obvious play to drag out the series into another trilogy and line their pockets a third time that it makes me nauseous. The over-commercialization of the film industry I find to be despicable and it’s one of the main factors that lead me to switch out of film school way back when. And it’s something I’m largely able to ignore; I don’t go to a lot of movies and I don’t have kids. But whenever they manage to destroy something I love, it brings up all my feelings of disgust again.
   
   I think what depresses me most about this movie, the entire situation, and the movie industry at large is that film is supposed to be an art form. As is writing. And by dragging out this franchise until it’s dead, I feel like the art has been lost and replaced by commercialism and green. Like a favorite pet who is alive and licking your face when you leave for summer camp and stuffed next to the fireplace when you come back. 

So go see this movie if you must. Just don’t say I didn’t bitch about it enough to have warned you.

Just Another Blog About Yarn

Please note: for this to make sense you have to realize that I've switched to using tumblr for awhile. I'm going to attempt to remember to cross-post stuff to here, but I make no guarantees. Anyway, this was my first tumblr post.

I’m going to say straight up - I’m a skeptic. I’ve resisted tumblr forever; a seasoned Xanga lover who moved onto LiveJournal, I haven’t managed to keep up with a journal, online, handwritten, or otherwise, since the latter half of my college career. Recently, though, a friend has persuaded me to give this another go, and so I shall.

This will almost certainly end up being just another knitting blog, confessions of a yarnaholic, possibly with some rants about weight loss, pretty pictures I’ve taken, and posts about music mixed in for good measure. If I can stick to it this time, though, I’ll be happy. Because lately, I can’t seem to stick to anything, and that has to change.

What Is Your Earliest Human Memory?

I remember being in a hospital in San Francisco. I was probably… 18 months old? I had dislocated my elbow for the first of three times. I don’t remember the pain or crying for hours. I just remember the doctor who fixed my arm giving me a little plastic yellow racecar for being a good girl. I’m fairly certain this car still exists in my parents’ attic somewhere.

Saturday Morning Routine

I do so love Saturday mornings. It might be weird, but I always feel strangely productive on Saturday mornings. I'm a relatively early riser, usually out of bed by 8:30. sometimes nine, and since Boyfriend sleeps later than me 99% of the time it's kind of my quiet time. Bosco usually follows me around, even after I feed him, so we have some cuddles. Then I guess I do a little yarn organization. I'm not sure what else to call it lol. I collect any yarn I may have acquired over the week, along with any new FO's, stuff for the shop, etc. Unblock anything that's dry. Straighten up my yarn bukkits and update the contents lists associated with those. Photograph everything & update my Ravelry pages. Reply to emails, messages, etc. that I didn't get to during the week. Pack up swap packages. Update my epic spreadsheet in which I track all ongoing projects, the status of my stash, etc. ...Yeah, that definitely sounds weird.

It's mostly mindless though, and makes me happy at the same time. It's a good way to wake up in a relaxed state of mind, I think. Listen to some music, drink some coffee.

I did grab some pictures of my FO's from last week that had been blocking. I'm particularly pleased with this one here. It's my own Limited Engagement: Bowery Ballroom base in MollyGirl's Keep Warm colorway. It's truly a luxury to knit with my own yarns, and I was concerned while I was knitting this one that I would wind up frogging it. I thought I might have used needles that were too large or that it wouldn't block well. I used Fish Scale Lace, one of my personal faves, and while being knit it's very... curly is the wrong word. But it definitely doesn't hang straight. This works sometimes, but I didn't want it in this particular piece.

As you can see it blocked quite nicely, and I ADORE the way the colors came out. It didn't pool at ALL. And being baby alpaca of course it's about the softest thing ever. Super yum. 

The rest of today will probably be calm. There may be hanging out with people, though I may also spend the day playing The Sims, as I am wont to do from time to time. I usually try to knit while doing do, but it never really works out as planned. I really do need to finish my repeat from yesterday and one for today on the Caledonia I'm making for my co-worker, so that will definitely (hopefully) get finished. I got a whole slew of Mal Worsted scraps for my scrapghan from my swappie friends so I'd love to try and knock out a few more squares. We shall see.

So off I go. But I leave you with this song for a weekend giggle. Enjoy!

What Turned Into More Than A Writing Sample

I was recently asked for a writing sample. There are fewer things I've found more difficult to write about than "whatever you want". I bounced ideas around for awhile... Favorite yarn... Why I love to knit... My favorite thing that I've made thus far... Which of course got me thinking about the first thing I ever made. It was a scarf, Lion Brand Thick & Quick Chenille, black, no fringe, knit on periwinkle-colored plastic size 11 needles. I wanted to make it for Adam, the boy I was dating at the time. I was 15 and he was my first real Boyfriend. And now I can't remember whether I gave it to him for his birthday in the fall or for Christmas that year. Or why I picked that yarn, even, other than it was soft and wasn't too expensive for my budget at Michael's that day. But make it I did, all five and a half feet of it. I was extremely proud at the time, though I'm sure if I saw it now I would cringe. I wrapped it up and gave it to him on either his birthday or Christmas, and he was appropriately pleased and wore it thereafter.

Sitting in the hall at school a few months later we realized that there was a run in it, probably five rows in, right by the cast on edge. I was mortified, horrified, and generally dramatic as I was wont to be at that point in my life. I insisted on reknitting it, snatching it back and not letting anyone see it. It was the end of February by then, and the season for scarves was coming to a close, but I was determined that, since we were clearly going to be together forever, the scarf would endure as well. I remember sitting at home on the couch, holding a half-unraveled scarf, my sister grabbing the yarn and pulling it into the kitchen, then running back to me to repeat the process. After winding the yarn back into an enormous ball, I proceeded to reknit the thing, meticulously counting the stitches every few rows. I presented it to him a few days later, whole and run-free.

Two weeks later, we broke up.

I eventually got over my heartbreak and we did become quite good friends again. He continued to wear the scarf all through high school and college. We didn't see each other often, but he said he wore that scarf on every single cold day and he'd think of me each time. Likewise, whenever a non-knitter asked me about my craft and the inevitable question about the first thing I made came up I would think of him. Last November he came to my birthday party and we fell to chatting. As the evening wore on, he told me he had some bad news: the scarf was gone. Stolen, he thought, out of his coat sleeve at a big party. He declared it to be the end of an era, asking me at the same time if I could make him another scarf just like that one. I said of course I would make him a scarf, but it wouldn't be the same.

And even if I could recreate that exact piece, made out of three whole skeins of a yarn long since discontinued, I wouldn't. It wouldn't be the same scarf, with the little tail poking out that I could never quite get to stay hidden. And we aren't the same people we were when I knit it the first time (or second). It wouldn't mean the same thing.

It's good, I think, as knitters, as creators of warm and cozy things, as givers of handmade gifts, that we keep in mind not only the projects we make, but who we make them for and why we even bother. It's true that I've given people things I've made which have gone unappreciated. Things that have been relegated to the back of closets, the bottom of drawers, never to see the light of day again. And knowing this has happened has made me gun shy, perhaps even a little jaded at times. But then there are those times when I get a text from a friend or an email from a relative, or maybe just glimpse a post online... and it's right there. That thing that I made them this past holiday season. That thing I made for her bridal shower six years ago. It's an afghan on a bed in the background of a picture or a hat right in the foreground, on the person who I made it for. It's on their hands as they type on their phone, writing to say they're thinking of me because I'm the reason their hands are currently toasty warm.

It's being at my parents' house, wrapped up in the afghan my mother made for my father when they were in college, sitting next to a table covered with one of the dozens of doilies that my grandmother crocheted.

It's thinking about the next afghan I want to make for my own home, and how someday my own kids might use to to make a cushion fort, like I did with my other grandmother's afghan when I was little.

It's good to keep these things in mind. People outside of the yarn world sometimes think that knitting is very solitary, but I've found the opposite to be true. Aside from the large number of friends I've made, both in person and online in the global yarn crafting community, I'm constantly connected to the ones I love both through the gifts I've made and those I've received.

Take that, store-bought scarf.

Spring & A Storm

I'm definitely going to be needing one of my Tasti pints when I get home. Today has been rough and this week is only going to get worse. It's hard to deal when you realize Monday is going to be the easiest day in your week.

The weekend wasn't bad. Had a nice time at Etsy HQ and hanging out in Dumbo with Boyfriend and his friend. I love Dumbo, I really do. I used to work down there and while the job wasn't really worthwhile, getting to have lunch in the July sunshine on the pebble beach totally was.

Sunday was supposed to be another fun day in city but pretty much everyone bailed at the last moment so Boyfriend and I stayed home. I worked a bit on my sweater (it's joined in the round now!) and a cowl out of one of my Limited Engagement yarns. I also have been playing around with the idea of phasing out my Etsy shop and launching my own web store, so I fiddled around with that some too. A productive day, but not exciting by any stretch.

The only good thing thus far today is the rain. It's keeping people indoors, eliminating some of the humidity, and fits my mood perfectly. Makes me want to listen to "Spring & A Storm"...

P.S. I have a hat pattern that I'd like to launch soon, but I would definitely like to have some people test knit it first based on what happened with the cowls. Anyone interested should get in touch!

Frozen Treats Heal All Hurts

After a busy busy weekend, about the last thing I wanted was a busy week. Alas, summer in recreation.  What is a little civil servant to do.

It was a good weekend, though. Geocaching on Saturday and my first craft show as MollyGirl on Sunday. The show was exhausting, as they always are, but also rewarding. I love getting out and talking to people about my craft. Plus, outdoor show meant puppy kisses! My reward after a long sweaty day was a giant tub of froyo. I'm a simple girl, really. Frozen dessert items are generally all I need to heal my emotional hurts. Even when I was little, this was the case. I once stepped on a beehive and got stung 25 times. I cried and cried... until a neighbor brought me a fudgecicle. 

It was a more stressful show than usual; my father built me a wonderful new display... which was still being worked on and finished several hours into the show. The new mirror I bought for people to try on stuff was broken when I took it out of the box. I almost poked my eye out with one of the pegs on my fancy new display. Just one of those days, I guess. So stressful for sure, but rewarding nonetheless. Just looking ahead to my next show now at the end of the month out in Southampton NY. 

I got some merino angora blend to dye up and it's BEAUTIFUL. Going to have to keep one of these babies for moi. =] I'm having a bit of a love affair with angora right now, I must say. It's just SO SOFT. If only I could get my hands on some alpaca/angora... Yumm...

I haven't been knitting too much. I should try and punch out a bit more of my sweater, really, and I have a cowl (a River Deep, Mountain High, if you must know) on the needles as well. I've also been working a bunch on my Mal Worsted scrapghan.  My goal is to get it done for Christmas,  though only having 38 squares of 252 done... we'll see. Lofty goals, I know. ;] The toughest part I think is getting all the colors. I can't afford to actually buy all the skeins (especially since I only want to use half of it at most) so I've been swapping a lot. It's helpful, but I realize at some point I'm going to run out of people to swap with! lol and then I won't have any more! But this is a problem for the future. I figure as long as I punch out a few squares every day and connect them up, I'll be okay. I adore granny squares, so it's actually tougher not to just do that. I love afghans. Love. Yay!

Right now I'm just trying to relax. I know I have an insanely stressful few months coming at work, so all I can do is try and keep my zen, hanging out with Bosco and Boyfriend and yarnz. We're making steak tonight for dinner, so pumped about that! And I have a pint of Tasti D-Lite with my name on it in the freezer. Only 8 points for the whole thing, and lawd knows I could use the pick me up. Like I said, frozen treats are my panacea. Headbutts from Bosco help too. =)